Friday, March 31, 2006

Ahem!

"Every time I swept the floor, I found spent match sticks in various corners, and close to each of these sticks would lie a dead insect. I looked closely. I saw that the insect had been killed first and then scorched.
Finding seared dead bodies, in different corners of my sweet home, left me confused."

Then one fine evening it all revealed..

An insect flew through the window, of my son's study room. His final examinations were on; so naturally he was very much at his desk studying hard. No sooner, he saw this handsome insect. He ran in the direction of the kitchen closet.


I was reading the morning newspaper. It was five thirty, in the evening.

I see my son rush, get the insect repellent and now ready to kill this handsome insect.

Me: why do you need to kill it.
He: It may bite
Me: Stop, that spray, that odour, gives me a headache.
He : …sppprrraayinggg…….ah! dead.

Then, back to the kitchen gets a match box, goes into his room and takes the dead insect to a corner.

Me: "Why do you need the match box? What are you upto?"

Without giving me a look, “It needs a decent burial".

Dear Blogreader:
This incident is a year old...
I shared it.
Ahem!

Wednesday, March 29, 2006

WOE__MEN

By the time the Lord made woman, He was into his sixth day of working overtime.

An angel appeared and said, "Why are you spending so much time on this one?"
And the Lord answered, "Have you seen my spec sheet on her?
She has to be completely washable, but not plastic, have over 200 movable parts, all replaceable and able to run on diet coke and leftovers, have a lap that can hold four children at one time, have a kiss that can cure anything from a scraped knee to a broken heart -and she will do everything with only two hands."

The angel said, "Only two hands!?
That's too much work for one day.
The Lord protested. "I am so close to finishing this creation that is so close to my own heart. She already heals herself when she is sick AND can work 18 hour days."

The angel moved closer and touched the woman
"But you have made her so soft,Lord."
"She is soft," the Lord agreed, "but I have also made her tough. You have no idea what she can endure or accomplish."

"Will she be able to think?", asked the angel.
The Lord replied, "Not only will she be able to think, she will be able to reason and negotiate."

The angel then noticed something, and reaching out, touched the woman's cheek. "Oops, it looks like you have a leak in this model. I told you that you were trying to put too much into this one."
"That's not a leak," the Lord corrected, "that's a tear!"
"What's the tear for?" the angel asked.

The Lord said, "The tear is her way of expressing her joy, her sorrow, her pain, her disappointment, her love, her loneliness, her grief and her pride."

The angel was impressed. "You are a genius, Lord. You thought of everything! Woman is truly amazing."

Dear BLogreader,
HOWEVER, IF THERE IS ONE FLAW IN WOMEN, ITS THAT THEY SOMETIMES FORGET THEIR WORTH

Saturday, March 25, 2006

wake _me _up


You are lucky, if a rooster lives near you, you have a built-in waker-upper. A non-alarming way to awaken.

The alarm clock is a form of violence. When a clanging alarm clock goes off , don't we feel like throwing it out the window and shoot it with a rifle.
Alarms are connected with danger: burglary, fire, air raid. They contribute to the part of fear. Why should one wake-up by inducing fear?.

The alarm shocks me out of the dream state and into my rational mind. My dreams simply don’t have a chance to catch up. They are shaken and then they vanish. It is a crude and rude way of wake-up-call.

It is believed that the soul travels when we are asleep. Thus, it is very important that the sleeper is brought gently to wakefulness so that his or her soul might find its way back. Of course, people awakened do not die. But something gets lost when we are awakened sharply and suddenly. It is our dream consciousness that loses its way back to the waking state.

A rooster, the hugs of a toddler or nuzzling of a dog are preferable to electronic buzzing to welcome my day!

Thursday, March 23, 2006

wishing you a very long life

God created the mule, and told him, "You are mule. You will work constantly from dusk to dawn, carrying heavy loads on your back. You will eat grass and lack intelligence. You will live for 50 years."
The mule answered, "To live like this for 50 years is too much. Please, give me no more than 20."
And it was so.

Then God created the dog, and told him, "You are dog. You will hold vigilance over the dwellings of Man, to whom you will be his greatest companion. You will eat his table scraps and live for 25 years."
The dog responded, "Lord, to live 25 years as a dog like that is too much. Please, no more than 10 years."
And it was so.

God then created the monkey, and told him, "You are monkey. You shall swing from tree to tree, acting like an idiot. You will be funny, and you shall live for 20 years."The monkey responded, "Lord, to live 20 years as the clown of the world is too much. Please, Lord, give me no than 10 years."
And it was so.

Finally,
God created Man and told him, "You are Man, the only rational being that walks the earth. You will use your intelligence to have mastery over the creatures of the world. You will dominate the earth and live for 20 years."

The man responded, "Lord, to be Man for only 20 years is too little. Please, Lord; give me the 20 years the mule refused, the 15 years the dog refused, and the 10 years the monkey rejected."

And so God made Man to live 20 years as a man, then marry and live 20 years like a mule working and carrying heavy loads on his back.
Then, he is to have children and live 15 years as a dog, guarding his house and eating the leftovers after they empty the pantry;
then, in his old age, to live 10 years as a monkey, acting like an idiot to amuse his grandchildren.

And it is so ...

Wednesday, March 22, 2006

should i or should i not!

The mind,
What shall we call it?
It is the sound of the breeze
That blows through the pines
In the Indian-ink pictures


What is in your mind, sometimes is difficult to put in words.

Dear Blogreader one way is:
Make it up and find a way to experience it!





Sunday, March 19, 2006

hear no evil,speak no evil, see no evil.

I overheard this. By practising Evil you can be Supervillain.
I found this evil quiz. Go find if you have the potential to become one.


( If you don't want to give this test, please scroll down for a question).
Maybe you would like to answer it. Thankyou.

Evil Quiz
QUESTION #1: How do you start your morning routine?
A) Wake up at 6:00 A.M. and sing merrily in the shower!
B) A five mile jog and rigorous set of exercises.
C) Hit the snooze alarm for the tenth time in as many minutes.
D) Have a cup of coffee, read the daily newspaper and then plot the downfall of western civilization.


QUESTION #2: Which of the following job skills do you possess?
A) Excellent management potential.
B) Ability to focus on the task at hand.
C) Looking busy whenever the boss walks by.
D) How to explain your master plan in under sixty seconds.

QUESTION #3: What did you want to be when you grew up?
A) A policeman
B) A doctor
C) A ballerina
D) Supreme dark overlord of all mankind. Either that or a lawyer.

QUESTION #4: Do you have any pets?
A) A big lovable dog.
B) A bird of some sort.
C) An iguana.
D) A white furry cat that you stroke constantly.

QUESTION #5: How do you normally spend your weekends?
A) Sports activities in the great outdoors.
B) Watching television.
C) Hanging out with friends.
D) Constructing doomsday devices in your basement.

QUESTION #6: What are your religious beliefs?
A) Monotheistic: Christian, Jewish, Muslim
B) Pantheistic: Buddhist, Hindu, Pagan
C) Atheist or Agnostic
D) I am actually an ancient Babylonian God awoken from a terrible sleep and destined to destroy all mankind.

QUESTION #7: What torments you in your greatest nightmares?
A) A fiery building from which you cannot escape.
B) Monsters that tear you limb from limb.
C) Your ex-wife demanding alimony payments.
D) Unicorns, rainbows, and puppy dogs with big eyes.

QUESTION #8: What would you say is the greatest threat to society today?
A) Crime, drugs, and gangs.
B) Corporations run amok.
C) Nuclear war.
D) Me.

QUESTION #9: What is your normal reaction whenever confronted by a holy symbol, garlic, silver weapon or holy water?
A) Feel the divine light surround your spiritual aura.
B) Bewildered confusion.
C) Chuckle at their superstitious beliefs.
D) Run away while screaming: "It burns! It burns!"

QUESTION #10: It's the end of the world. An atomic blast has just leveled the cities and destroyed the human race. Mutants now walk the streets and the seas have boiled away to nothing. You've just seen your best friend torn to pieces, and civilization as you know it is over. Do you...
A) Vow to someday rebuild society.
B) Double over in grief and wait for a painful death.
C) Try to remember the plot to "The Road Warrior."
D) Congratulate yourself on a job well done.

ANSWERS
A's, B's or C's - You unfortunately do not possess the necessary qualities to be an evil supervillain.
D's - Excellent.


Dear Blogreader,
Which do you think is the worst evil to do(Speak/hear/ See)? and Why?


Thursday, March 16, 2006

meeeow // bowwow



We have dog lovers, then we have cat lovers; and people who are inbetween:they love both.

I shall call CL for Cat lovers,DL for dog lovers BL for the inbetweens.

CL: I prefer the cat,dogs want to kill cats thats evil.
DL: Don't your cats kill mice?? is that holy

BL: I have both. 2 cats and 2 dogs. I love all of them but I think it depends on the animal's personality.

CL: dogs misbehave more than cats. They always ruin the rug and the mat.
DL: Cats are trouble-makers. they mess with neighbors' rubbish cans.

BL: hey, stop fighting, CL buy a dog and DL buy a cat, and find out which makes a better pet?

CL: No way! i am buying another cat
DL: me another Dog....
CL: dogs need all
DL: Cats want all

BL: Mine don't. I need,I want them




Thursday, March 09, 2006

Alonetime : Solitude


We often mistake Solitude as a Negative aspect.
The dictionary too is wrong, it says solitude is lonely.
Solitude is not lonely its 'alonetime'.
Alonetime is what helps to learn who we are. To function at our peak, we need to know ourselves, and alonetime provides time for self-examination.

The degree of solitude we each require is partly inborn and partly learned. People who are more introverted will feel a greater need for solitude than those who are extroverted. But from a very early age, we all need at least some alonetime.

A perfect alonetime is in the womb, but it's unfortunate that we're too young to appreciate it. Once we're born into this world, we get surrounded. We loose our solitude.

Dear Blogreader, find time for Alonetime, a time you ones experienced in the womb.